In life, sometimes we just need to take a chance. In the midst of that uncertain leap, we will find ourselves vulnerable. Everything within us will tell us not to jump. Fear will keep us standing on the platform. Fear can reason, and reason will keep us looking out from the safety of the platform. The platform isn’t bad. The platform is where we’ve been our whole lives. It is familiar. It is certain. It is safe. But something within us longs to see what is beyond the platform. So we close our eyes and take a step, only to find ourselves scurrying back to safety. But in the still small moment, when our feet were lifted in mid-step, a voice began to speak. It was small, yet persistent. It was there faintly behind the shouting fear. So we take a deep breath. We focus on the small voice. It is our hearts. After listening for a while, we, despite all logic, jump from the platform. With that jump comes a whole new world. With our breath gone, we manage to see the old platform as a distant memory that is soon quickly forgotten.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Saturday, March 20, 2010
My Testimony
I grew up a pastor’s kid. All through my childhood, I was taught the importance of loving God and going to church. I am very thankful for growing up in a Godly Christian home. I believe those were the years that taught me where I should place my priorities. Later on, though, I started to think more for myself, and there came a point when I had to decide if I wanted to follow God or not. Of course, when I was younger I loved the idea of the Creator of the universe caring about little old me.I loved the idea of spending my post-life jumping on a cloudy trampoline in heaven after I died even more. Growing up I knew that I wanted to keep my rear out of Hell. This I was certain of.
Later on, though, I started to think that my way of thinking was a little shallow. At that point, when I became a teenager, I didn’t want to follow God because people told me to, but I wanted to follow Him because I knew from experience that He was worth following. All through this struggle of searching for God to prove Himself to me, I really continued to play “Christian” very well. I grew up a pastor’s kid, so I could talk Bible language with the best of them.
This is when I began to live a very two-faced life. The person I was at school was not the person I was at church. The person who I was with my friends was not the person who I was with my family. I tried to justify my actions to myself by saying, “At least I’m not smoking pot or getting drunk like most kids.” This is when God really started to work in me. I was starting to feel guilty for my two-faced lifestyle. I now see it was the Holy Spirit who was working in me.
It was starting to become clear to me that I needed God in a big way. I would go to youth retreats, get inspired, come home “on fire,” and then cool off in a couple weeks. This continued for a while. I knew that God existed, and I knew I wanted to follow Him, but it was hard for me to follow a God who would seem to continually distance Himself from me.
After a while of the same lukewarm living, my friends and I in my youth group at church were told about an event called “Fine Arts Festival.” Fine Arts Festival is essentially an art competition for church people. We then were told that if you got past the district level, you could compete at the national level which happened to be in Denver, Colorado. We Jersey kids wanted to go to Denver.
To make a long story short, we competed in a couple of Human Video categories, acting out stories to music, and made it to Nationals in Denver. God had a plan for me and my youth friends. It was in Denver, in a huge auditorium seating hundreds and hundreds of God-crazy youth, that God totally changed my life.
God showed Himself to me in Denver, and He inspired me to the point where I wanted everyone to experience God like I had. Something within me “clicked.” I came home with a fire that would not go out. I immediately immersed myself in His Word, the Bible. Then, I started to act out what the Bible was saying and to live the lifestyle God wanted me to live.
I began to experience that as I loved people like God continually loved me, He would fill me with His presence. It really made sense to me why Jesus said the two most important commandments are to love Him and to love others.
My whole view of God had changed. When I was younger I wanted an “in” to heaven; now I didn’t care whether there was a heaven or not. I was experiencing a closeness to God that was good enough for me to continually follow Him and love people, whether there was a heaven or not.
This is exactly where I am today. God has shown me the best way to live, and that is His way of living. I live a life of sacrifice for Him, and I follow the two most important commandments, to love God and to love people. God has continually shaken me to the point of awe as I obey these commandments. My life has been changed, and it is now my goal to spread the quite literal “good news” that Jesus Christ has to offer to people. The “good news” being that there is a very real God, and He wants a personal relationship with every living person.