Silence For Once

Sometimes I like to sit in silence. I talk a lot. God finally gets a chance to speak to me when I sit down and be quiet. He speaks to me in ways that are really hard to describe. When I sit in silence, I completely open myself up. Usually my quiet time starts with rapid fires of thoughts, concerns, worries, fears, doubts, desires, agendas, obligations, and whatever else that can force its murky way into my mind. 

Eventually, it stops though.

And it's in that moment, when my mind is clear, and I'm completely open, that God speaks his loudest. 

When he speaks, I immediately feel a deep feeling of calm. It's the kind of calm that warmly surrounds my whole body and comforts my soul. It's really hard to put into words. Then, I feel an overwhelming sense of what I can only describe as God's goodness. 

Once I've recognized that God is with me, like he always is but I always seem to forget, I start to see things differently. Everything in the world just becomes okay. All of my worries go away, and God becomes enough. For once, God becomes enough. 

I start to notice things, "ordinary" things, the way God intended for me to notice them. I start to notice things as beautiful. Ridiculous things like ants, or clouds, or the cool breeze, or a tomato plant, or a wind-chime, or the cafeteria worker who always performs her job with a smile on her face. For a second, I notice everything in the world that is good, and I see it linked directly to the one who made things good. 

And after I sit in his presence for a while...after I bask in the sacred unity between my creator and I, his creation...all I can seem to do is raise my hands. And in the feeblest of attempts to respond, and a lot of the time the only way I can respond, with tear-filled eyes, I manage to muster the words, thank you. Thank you. 

Amazing Grace

"Amazing grace, how sweet the sound..."

I don't need my ears to hear your favor. That's why it's so amazing. That's why you're so amazing. My heart will continue to hear the sound that only you can produce. It's that life saving sound. I knew it was you who sang it.

"...that saved a wretch like me."

I continually prove how unworthy I am of your love, of your forgiveness, and yet I continue to receive both. It's incredible. I don't understand it, but I will continue to thank you for it.

"I once was lost, but now I'm found..."

I was breathing, but I wasn't alive. I was stumbling around as someone other than who I was always meant to be. I am defined by the relationship I have with you. In you, I am found.

"...was blind but now I see."

I saw my life as my own, but it is yours. Once I came to know that, I truly began to live. I surrender my body. It is yours. I surrender my mind. It is yours. I surrender my desires. They are yours. It sounds weird to say those things, but you've sorted this all out. It was all foggy. It was all strange...but I was blind. Now I see.

Living Love

When I get down to the core of who I want to be, I want to personify love. I want people to know, without a shadow of a doubt, that I truly love God, and that I truly love people. 

I used to have a distorted view of what love really is. I'm young, but when I was younger, love was easy. Love was common. Love was just something you said. Love could change. Love might not last. Love was just like any other emotion. 

Now that I'm older, I'm beginning to understand what love is. With that new understanding comes a new way that I approach God and those around me.

Sometimes I feel a certain way but can't express it. I sometimes read the Scriptures, and I think to myself, “That is exactly how I feel.” Or I think, “That is exactly what I want to say.” Sometimes it's like the words I read are my own words. Or even more commonly, the words I read are exactly what I need to hear. 

This verse continues to change me every time I read it. It is a common passage, 1 Corinthians 13. I read these words as if they are my own, because they are my own. I hope you will read them in the same way. It is my prayer that we can all internalize this message, and it is my prayer that these will be your words too.  

“If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a noisy gong or a clanging symbol. 

If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 

If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. 

Love never gives up. 

Love cares more for others than for self. 

It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 

Love is not self-seeking. It is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 

Love never fails. 

When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child.

When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. And now these three remain...

Faith, hope, and love. 

But the greatest of these...is love.”  

Listerine

I have taken quite a hiatus from my blog posting. This summer was crazy with all kinds of things. Many of these things I want to expand on in the future. As of now, I need to get back into the groove of things...so I thought this email that I sent to Listerine last night would be a good way to sail back "Into The Mike." 

Hello Listerine. I would first like to say, I love what you stand for and what you aim to accomplish. After using your product I immediately felt as though my mouth was further cleansed beyond what my simple brush can do. You are the Navy Seals of oral hygiene. You get the job done. I am, however, disappointed, and I am hoping you can help me solve the problem at hand (or at mouth). After I use your product, Listerine Cool Mint, the fluid leaves an unsightly blueish residue on the surface of my teeth. Is there something you can do to help me reach my goal of perfect oral appearance including the absence of plaque, gingivitis, AND the blueish residue? I hope to hear from you soon, and I hope  this can be the beginning of a long and useful relationship. 

Ah...The Trap

I constantly have to remind myself of who I am and of who I want to be. If I don't, I continually come close to falling into the trap that has been set. You know, the trap that has the goal to make everyone carbon copies of everyone else. The trap that wants us all to just strut around through life aimlessly without taking any notice of what's around us. Maybe I'm getting deep here. (This would be specifically acting against the trap) The trap is interested in surfaces and nothing more.

I've been known to fall into that trap. We all have. We're all guilty of walking under the stars, night in and night out, without looking up. The thing that is just so terrible to me about getting my pant legs caught in the teeth of that trap is that it takes me away from me. It takes me away from who I am and who I want to be.

 I haven't quite figured out the anti-trap repellant yet, but I constantly am trying to be aware of what's around me. It is my constant prayer that my eyes will see what they are intended to see, because I long to acknowledge all the daily beauty that the trap would just slap a "mundane" label on. There is so much out there and I constantly miss it. It is the most devastating thing to me.

So what do I do?

I pray for the eyes....

...and I look around.  

What If?

Life is too short to hold back. You have to take the risk. Don't hold back. If you expect to release later... When is that? Later is now. It has always been now. I mean, if all else fails, crashes, and burns, wouldn't it be worth the few moments of the "what if?"

I love the "what if" moments. Exploring the "what ifs" is navigating through a better freer world. A lot of people think it's a waste of time. They think exploring the "what ifs" can only create disappointment. I completely disagree.

At least I do now.

Embracing and imagining the "what ifs" is amazing. It can put you in a perfect world, and it can fashion new ones. It is liberating. Some may say it is living in a fantasy, but I like to think of it as living in your hopes and desires.

Let your imagination take you to the kinds of places you can only dream of.

Why?

...How else can you accomplish the seemingly impossible unless you embrace the seemingly impossible "what ifs?"

What Am I Allowed To Do?

I feel like I hear predominant questions about Christianity frequently and they always have to do with what the individual is "allowed" to do. I'm sure if we're all honest, we can all attest to asking these kinds of questions too. They always seem to sound like some of the following... Am I allowed to (fill in the blank)? Can I (fill in the blank)? What does the Bible say about (fill in the blank)? Will God be mad if I (fill in the blank)? How far can I go with (fill in the blank)? Can I drink (fill in the blank)? You get the point. 


Whenever I'm asked what God's "take" is on any of those kinds of questions, I always lick the tip of my finger and hit the Bible pages looking for the clear cut yes/no answer. The problem with that is, a lot of the time there are no clear cut answers, and most people, myself included, will take the liberty of assuming its ok to do "whatever" as long as the Bible doesn't give a black and white answer against it. Or if  we find the answer is "grey", we'll justify it to ourselves somehow, usually by saying, "Hey it's a grey area." 


This is why I love Paul. 


Please take a moment to read Romans 14:14-21 (I would type it all out but then no one would read this because it's already too long) 


Now, you can substitute "food" in that passage with a (fill in the blank). 


Basically Paul is saying, Ok we believe that some of the things we do are ok and we are justified in doing them. But some other people may think those things are wrong. So, don't let what you do get in the way of someone's potential relationship with Jesus Christ because... you see, Christ suffered a pretty agonizing death with nails ripping through his flesh to a tree for that person. So, don't ruin God's plan over the things you do, whether you think your'e right in your own eyes or not, or even if you "interpreted" scripture to justify your actions. It is just better to abstain from the questionable things if those things may cause someone else to stumble. 


This way of thinking makes following Jesus a bit more radical in terms of what we're "allowed" to do. Hmm... Jesus was kind of radical too... wasn't He? 

The Platform 1/19/2010

In life, sometimes we just need to take a chance. In the midst of that uncertain leap, we will find ourselves vulnerable. Everything within us will tell us not to jump. Fear will keep us standing on the platform. Fear can reason, and reason will keep us looking out from the safety of the platform. The platform isn’t bad. The platform is where we’ve been our whole lives. It is familiar. It is certain. It is safe. But something within us longs to see what is beyond the platform. So we close our eyes and take a step, only to find ourselves scurrying back to safety. But in the still small moment, when our feet were lifted in mid-step, a voice began to speak. It was small, yet persistent. It was there faintly behind the shouting fear. So we take a deep breath. We focus on the small voice. It is our hearts. After listening for a while, we, despite all logic, jump from the platform. With that jump comes a whole new world. With our breath gone, we manage to see the old platform as a distant memory that is soon quickly forgotten.

My Testimony

I grew up a pastor’s kid. All through my childhood, I was taught the importance of loving God and going to church. I am very thankful for growing up in a Godly Christian home. I believe those were the years that taught me where I should place my priorities. Later on, though, I started to think more for myself, and there came a point when I had to decide if I wanted to follow God or not. Of course, when I was younger I loved the idea of the Creator of the universe caring about little old me.I loved the idea of spending my post-life jumping on a cloudy trampoline in heaven after I died even more. Growing up I knew that I wanted to keep my rear out of Hell. This I was certain of.

Later on, though, I started to think that my way of thinking was a little shallow. At that point, when I became a teenager, I didn’t want to follow God because people told me to, but I wanted to follow Him because I knew from experience that He was worth following. All through this struggle of searching for God to prove Himself to me, I really continued to play “Christian” very well. I grew up a pastor’s kid, so I could talk Bible language with the best of them.

This is when I began to live a very two-faced life. The person I was at school was not the person I was at church. The person who I was with my friends was not the person who I was with my family. I tried to justify my actions to myself by saying, “At least I’m not smoking pot or getting drunk like most kids.” This is when God really started to work in me. I was starting to feel guilty for my two-faced lifestyle. I now see it was the Holy Spirit who was working in me.

It was starting to become clear to me that I needed God in a big way. I would go to youth retreats, get inspired, come home “on fire,” and then cool off in a couple weeks. This continued for a while. I knew that God existed, and I knew I wanted to follow Him, but it was hard for me to follow a God who would seem to continually distance Himself from me.

After a while of the same lukewarm living, my friends and I in my youth group at church were told about an event called “Fine Arts Festival.” Fine Arts Festival is essentially an art competition for church people. We then were told that if you got past the district level, you could compete at the national level which happened to be in Denver, Colorado. We Jersey kids wanted to go to Denver.

To make a long story short, we competed in a couple of Human Video categories, acting out stories to music, and made it to Nationals in Denver. God had a plan for me and my youth friends. It was in Denver, in a huge auditorium seating hundreds and hundreds of God-crazy youth, that God totally changed my life.

God showed Himself to me in Denver, and He inspired me to the point where I wanted everyone to experience God like I had. Something within me “clicked.” I came home with a fire that would not go out. I immediately immersed myself in His Word, the Bible. Then, I started to act out what the Bible was saying and to live the lifestyle God wanted me to live.

I began to experience that as I loved people like God continually loved me, He would fill me with His presence. It really made sense to me why Jesus said the two most important commandments are to love Him and to love others.

My whole view of God had changed. When I was younger I wanted an “in” to heaven; now I didn’t care whether there was a heaven or not. I was experiencing a closeness to God that was good enough for me to continually follow Him and love people, whether there was a heaven or not.

This is exactly where I am today. God has shown me the best way to live, and that is His way of living. I live a life of sacrifice for Him, and I follow the two most important commandments, to love God and to love people. God has continually shaken me to the point of awe as I obey these commandments. My life has been changed, and it is now my goal to spread the quite literal “good news” that Jesus Christ has to offer to people. The “good news” being that there is a very real God, and He wants a personal relationship with every living person.

Skipping Rocks

Once upon a time there was a guy named Bob. Bob was wicked good at skipping rocks. He was the best rock-skipper in all the world.

Bob had two agents who represented him, Tom and Nancy.

One day this guy, Jim, wanted to see just how good Bob was. Jim was doubtful that Bob truly was the best rock-skipper in all the world.

Jim walked up to the first agent, Tom, and said to him, “I don’t believe Bob is the best rock-skipper in all the world.”

Tom immediately got very upset that Jim would say something absurd like that. Tom got so mad that he immediately listed tons and tons of reasons why Bob was indeed the best rock-skipper in all the world.

Jim wasn’t buying it. So Jim walked away.

The next day, Jim walked up to the second agent, Nancy, and said to her, “I don’t believe Bob is the best rock-skipper in all the world.”

Nancy immediately got very excited and said, “It really is something you need to experience to believe!”

This made Jim very curious to see Bob in action.

So Nancy took Jim to the stream where Bob showed up to practice each day.

Jim saw Bob throw a rock and his eyes welled up as he said, “Bob truly is the best rock-skipper in all the world.”

People sometimes struggle with the thought of God and even talk badly and raise really blunt upsetting questions about Him. When people do that, Christians’ first responses, most of the time, are to defend the name of Christ. That’s not bad. In that process though, we tend to get a little heated. If there is one thing I have learned about sharing “the good news” it is that, talk is incredibly cheap and anger brings out more anger. When Jesus went up to someone He said, “Come follow me.” He invited people to experience that He was and is God.

Talk is cheap. Anger is bad. When it comes to “the good news,” help people experience and don’t get mad if they raise some angering questions in the process.