A Thought

I don't know if I can say that in every situation I am the person I strive and desire to be. To declare that I was would sound extremely proud and unbelievable. I would hope that, in this world, I am that person who will stick up for what is right. Help those in need. Those who maybe most people would walk past and not think twice. Often at the end of my day I will re-evaluate myself and say, who I AM hates who I've BEEN today. Though I realize to most people that may sound destructive, and possibly even worth drawing concern, I can honestly say that I am thankful I can even make that observation. It helps keep me striving to be who I want to be, and quite frankly who I believe everyone is at heart. Although it is a long road, and although I continue to trip and fall, I will continue to get up, and hopefully invite people to come on and join me.

Aliens

Apparently being a Christian means you definitely do not support space exploration because if extraterrestrial life is found, the foundation on which christianity stands, will crumble. This is just the awesome lesson I have learned in my monday morning 8 a.m. Astronomy class.

Let me just say, I would consider myself a morning person, yet for some reason I could not pay attention to my exciting 70 year old monotone talking professor. I truly do like the man, i've already learned quite a bit from him and his much shared experience about his working for NASA. Every so often during his lectures the subject of a Creator will come up, and it really is quite relevant once you start talking cosmos. This past monday, however, I heard a new proposal by "the man in the back."

The subject being discussed was the death of stars. It then turned into, I can't disprove there being a God, He could have created things looking old. (which i completely agree with... I don't know, I just think baby adam would have a hard time surviving in the wilderness) After he had made this statement "the man in the back" let everyone know what apparently a lot of christians think. Truly I do not mean to bash him, I just want to fill you all in on his thoughts and I'll throw mine in, as a christ follower, to help clear anything up, if anyone feels the same way.

He said that, "Christians have been holding back space exploration because if extraterrestrial life is found, their whole foundation will crumble."

Although I am but a single voice, and although your statement was not a question, I have my answer for you "the man in the back." I support all the searching for aliens. Actually thats not exactly true because i think its a waste of money, especially in this time of economic turmoil. IF money was not an option, i support all the searching for aliens. On a personal level, if an alien is found i would love to just play some horseshoes with them and delight in the sharing of a nice cold strawberry kiwi fruit drink. As far as my faith goes... I'm not sitting on a castle of playing cards foundation. I would love to hear how the alien's life has been affected by christ as well... il invite big foot over to tell about his miraculous convergence.

Support The War? Support Jesus?

O what a subject to tackle. I'm not even sure I know how to start this conversation. 

I understand that we may all be sick of hearing about the War in Iraq, as it constantly floods our media and lives. Yet, I feel as though it is of great importance to deny the War, and stand against this illusion that has been created that states "it is for the greater good." I've heard the phrase "kill one, save a thousand" used in movies, and it all use to make sense. It all seemed logical and right to me. Yet as my whole view has changed regarding War, and violence, the question arises in my mind that states, "well then who is going to stand up for that one?" With that question bearing down on me I am loudly told that answer through scripture... Jesus would be at the defense of that "one."

How did this all come about? It has been thanks to the multiple car bumper stickers, Shane Claiborne's "Iraq Journal," and most influentially, Jesus, that my whole world view has changed when it comes to War and party affiliation. I use to be extremely right winged. It use to be, you could cut me with a knife and I would bleed out elephants. Yet when reevaluating the "party," I now realize Jesus isn't exactly the white middle class republican that he somehow seems to be portrayed as. (thank you Derek Webb) I have reason to believe that if Jesus were here today you possibly would be able to find Him chained to the front door of the white house saying, enough of this killing... love your enemies. 

"It's for the greater good." That's what we are told in order to justify the War. Yet, with the using of this common justification phrase, are we really that different from those members of the Al Qaeda? 

I commute to work everyday, and everyday I see multiple bumper stickers that state "God bless America," "Support our troops," and "Win the War! Victory in Iraq." I think it is time we remember the message of Jesus. Now am I bashing our troops? No, never. I have numerous friends who are members of the Service and I highly respect our troops as well as admire their bravery. But when we just step out of our normal view of things and imagine what those bumper stickers might look like through the lens of an Iraqi citizen who has been affected by this war, I'm starting to wonder if we really want to support these things. 

Do our children have any more of a right to live than those who are living in Iraq? In fact, do our children have any more of a right to live than those whose parents are devoted members of the Al Qaeda? Let me quickly, and I understand this is already becoming quite a long blog, tell you a common situation that occurs quite regularly in Iraq that just breaks my heart. We, the United States, have these bombs called Cluster Bombs that we drop in Iraq. A Cluster Bomb contains 202 deadly bombletts, if you will, each of which fracture into about 300 steel, body-piercing fragments. An absolutely horrible bomb.... it can cover about the size of a football field and anywhere between 10% and 20% will not detonate. These, that do not detonate, will litter the ground until activated by animals or people. It is common that children will mistake them for toys or food... which then results in activation. 

War is horrible, thus the War in Iraq is horrible. It's time we break away from this illusion that "It's for the greater good." Jesus does not call us to be supporters of the War, in fact He calls us to the exact opposite. We are to oppose the war, and support Love. I'm sick of this War, I'm sick of any War, and I will be sick of Wars. Jesus is sick of Wars. Let's all be together here, let's support Jesus in what He called us to do and let's think the way He told us to think. 

"To our most bitter opponents we say: Throw us in jail and we will still love you. Bomb our houses and threaten our children and we will still love you. Beat us and leave us half dead and we will still love you. But be ye assured that we will wear you down by our capacity to suffer. One day we shall so appeal to your heart and conscience that we shall win you in the process, and our victory will be a double victory." - Gandhi

Let us put our swords away. (Lk 22:51, Jn 18:11)

Drywall Anyone

My church, which has been meeting in a Cinemark theatre, has now bought a space. The theatre is located in the Pittsburgh Mills Mall and now we get our own space within the mall. (which i almost just spelled wall. yes... space within the wall) And today was the "Mills work day." Things within the new space had to be done in order for it to be up to par come October when we begin to meet there. (walls painted, walls made, new carpet, stage set up, sound system... the list goes on) I had quite the time working today.

First of all let me just say... I am convinced that over 80% of men who work where paint, drywall, lifts, studs, nails, screws, saws, ladders, and drills are involved, have absolutely no clue what they are doing. With this observation made I have come to the conclusion that I most certainly fall under this category. Despite feeling left out due to my lack of tool belt, I would say for the first two hours I was completely useless as I was standing nodding my head. (The head nod is indeed standard male procedure when the man has absolutely no freaking clue what he is doing)

It really all started as I was approached with a "test of my manlyness" kind of a question. "Do you know how to drywall"? (First of all I want to make a side note. When it comes to the world of manly construction, the complete English language is disregarded. To drywall is now a verb.) I could not be fooled by this test. "Yes..... Yes I can."

Nope, no I couldn't... I was a boy amongst men. I do want to say though, I now have a complete understanding of how to build a wall. By the 4th one I really started to get it. I left that place just as prideful as I had entered it. Another day, another wall.

It really was cool though watching how everyone as a family worked together. It reminds me of the way everything was intended to be. Harmony. I found it on this "Mills work day." (i had enough time to notice it) It really reminded me of the importance of coming together as one. Even though I stunk at drywalling.

The Public Throne

In the good ol' Pittsburgh there are many amazing things to experience. The possibilities to fulfill an agenda that would be labeled as a "great day," is quite simple. Yet while engaging in said activities one thing is in undeniable. Mother nature, so to speak, comes a'knocking eventually. 

I can't stand blessed public restrooms. Please allow me to vent to those of you who care. I know all of you are thinking the same thing when you are in those unsanitary silos. This is quite the universal blog. It is not limited to race, gender, orientation, or classification. Although I must say it is taken from a male's point of view from an experience in the male's quarters. 

Upon entry in these dirty dungeons comes multiple situations, aromas, sights, and sounds. (i pray you don't experience tastes) All of which simply cannot be spoken of in detail do to my audience. (be thankful) All I'm saying is, I can no longer stand, the floral wall papered, close proximity wall urinaled, dryer sheet like toilet papered, pee puddle floored, hand dryered with exit door opening inwarded, relief facilities. 

It appears that we, as a global community, have hit a brick wall. I'm not convinced our public restroom days could ever be labeled as "smooth sailing." Unless we developed a magic bag that would contain: a pair of virtual goggles, dividers, charmin ultra soft, stilts, paper towels and a flame thrower. In the mean time I suppose we will just have to endure. I guess i shouldn't complain too much. I mean, it does beat the, "just go out back and dig a hole."

Focusing On Youth

Recently I have been involved in a great Jr. High youth program at riverside community church. I love my role in helping them engage in experiencing God through selfless worship. Singing, praising, and worshiping God are quite possibly the most humbling thing mankind can do, if done properly, in my opinion. Anyway after worship was over I sat in the back with my pen and journal out ready to observe. The topic discussed was, you guessed it, love. How appropriate considering the date. In fact, this whole month is "love month." Now, I usually like to add ice breakers in my blogs, funny instances that come from my experiences but for this one I have none. This time I sat in anger realizing the truth of today and the task that is at hand.
  Sixth, seventh, and eighth graders filled the room with their full undivided attention located to the front of the room. Issues such as, sex, early pregnancy, STD's, pornography, homosexuality, abortion, and divorce were spoken to them. My anger was at its apex, not because these issues were addressed but because they HAVE to be addressed.
  It seems to me that the enemy has realized the importance of focusing on, persuading, and guiding our youth. You look at influential people such as Hitler who also capitalized on the opportunity of speaking and directing the youth of that time. It doesn't take a devil or a world leader to know that the youth of today are what make up the world of tomorrow. Since we all know this very logical truth why do we dance around with our hands on our heads wondering why our world is the way it is. Maybe, just maybe we need to pour more into our youth. Pour our energy, our quality, our time, our diligence, our power, our voice, our lives into our youth. I sat in a room where these harsh issues were being addressed and not one, not one batted an eye... no one was shocked, they have heard it all before. THESE THINGS ARE NORMAL TO THEM.
  It is imperative that we act on this, that we fight against it. It is life altering whether we decide to act. For the sake of them, for the sake of tomorrow. The world is pushing on what seems to them to be a very enticing lifestyle. They are blindly being led down a path of destruction, destruction of themselves, of others, of their planet, and so on. It is about time to make it our goal to help them. Focus, FOCUS on our youth.

The Great Taco Dance

I am now starting to notice, and probably as well as all of you who brave my blogs, that I somehow always end up finding profound messages that apply to my life in what others may dub seemingly mundane situations. Maybe it has to do with the incredibly large sums of time I have to be alone and think. Being alone for long periods of time can be a good thing for this reason. That when you are put back into the slew of people in the world you take notice of things you hadn't before and are able to learn more from them. Hence this blog. I took a hold of a message that was delivered in the best of ways. Who better to learn from than a little foreign boy probably the age of 6 or 7. (which my age guessing should be quite on target, for I worked at a preschool for 5 years.. just adding credibility to the age which I am guessing) Inspiration can come in the unlikeliest of ways from the unlikeliest of people. 

My mother, wonderful sister and I were quite hungry and decided to stop to eat before embarking on the "fun" task that is "shopping." (you can tell right there I have had a lot of alone time since I agreed to do this) Decisions, decisions. It was a tossup between the healthy and nutritious, Panera Bread, or the greasy and delicious Taco Bell. Being the great aware citizens that we are, we decided that it was a no brainer. Taco Bell.

We walked in to this fine eating establishment and to our dismay found the line to be insanely long. This gives aid to two problems. First being I have to stand for a long period of time in a roped-in, line prison, and second, the seating depletes rather quickly. Thus we came to the conclusion that I must place my order with my mom and sis so I could go claim our table territory. I wander around the Taco Bell aimlessly looking for a table that has not already been conquered by weird unrecognizable substances on its surface.

I finally found a seat that was almost up to qualifications, just a couple swipes of a trusty napkin and all was well. Enough of that though... that really has nothing to do with my profound experience. I just find it comical that I, and I bet you, go through this routine every time I eat out at a fast food joint. Anyway.... it was when I found my seat that the experience occurred and the message came to my attention. 

Across the room about 6 yards away from me was a foreign family. Now I cannot say that it is a fact that they were foreign. It was another conjecture made by me. They were of asian descent, carrying cameras recording every moment at a Taco Bell, speaking another language, and sporting shoes with brands I had never seen. Conclusion, visiting foreign tourists. Anyway I am glad they were there and for this very reason. 

This family was awesome. Just the joy that was being expressed by them was inspiring in itself. I was amazed, and staring. What really hit me hard, however, was their little boy. Like I said he was most likely either 6 or 7 and I learned much from him. It was because of him that I now realize I can learn so much from children in general. Its not like I haven't been around kids before either, as I previously mentioned as well. I spent 5 years working at a preschool. I am now realizing I should have spent 5 years learning from a preschool. Anyway this boy has a message that is geared to all and I would like to share it with you. 

I was sitting at my seat and I listened to this boy as he spoke his message to me... he began to dance. Thats it. He danced. That was his message and it was breath taking. Not because he was a good dancer. Not because I somehow think he was filled with the Holy Spirit. It was a breath taking message because... he danced in a Taco Bell at 1 p.m. with probably 30 to 35 people staring at him. Some frowning, some chuckling, some pointing, and some huffing. Nevertheless, he danced. He did not care what other people thought. He did what he was called to do and he fully embraced it. He did not care. He was in his best state of being. Smiling, laughing, clapping... Dancing. As I sit here, and remember this, it's like a movie playing in my head. I am still deeply struck.

This hits me on so many different levels and areas of my world. My christianity, my honesty, my mentality, my life. Its a message I have heard before but not seen in person. The true meaning of the phrase do not let other people's cares or thoughts affect the way you were MEANT to live. Read that last sentence again carefully before you leave comments bashing it. Now I say that in hopes that you know how you are suppose to live. Now if you don't know and care what I think, go ahead and ask me. I will quickly guide you to a book as well as share some of my own personal thoughts. Anyway, I know personally in the past I have let other people's thoughts and opinions guide some of my actions in a negative way. Who hasn't? Those ever so prevalent words, "peer pressure," come to mind. Why do we allow ourselves to be consumed by what others may think? 

I think this boy speaks to everyone. He spoke to me. His dancing literally changed me. I'm hoping you can learn something from it too. If I am constantly wondering what others may think of me I will miss out on a lot. I will miss out on experiences, opportunities, happiness, strength, knowledge, wisdom, life. I know this because I am in the process of making, not yet have 100% made, the change and am already noticing the difference. Try it. Don't care what others think. Live the life you were called and meant to live. Be free. Dance.

Headaches

A little thought. As I sit here in good ol' borders I am thinking. First how stupid this store is for charging for their wireless and second that it doesn't matter that they charge because I can pick up a signal from the Panera Bread next door... fools. Anyway, thats the least of my thoughts. I have had another deep thinking session, again. I was cycling through my day and this is what I got.
  Everything feels slow today. I woke up and felt horrible. It was, and is, my head. I woke up with an extremely painful headache. (maybe you can relate) Now as bad as this headache was, all I had to do was walk twenty steps over to the bathroom, open the cabinet, find the Tylenol, and swallow two. And wouldn't ya know it.... Headache no longer hurt. Granted my whole day was feeling kind of goofy and stuck in slow motion, but the pain was gone due to a cure that was easily available to me. I didn't even think twice about it as I swallowed these two "miracle pills." It just hit me. Wow I am spoiled. I have a headache and I conclude without even thinking that my day is going to be horrible. Lest I forget about that suffering child in Rwanda who has aids due to rape. Lest I forget about the numerous people who were driven from their homes in Darfur. Literally driven away from the one thing that they had. I have a headache.....
  Headache.... seems so small compared to these others. In fact I'm sure those people would love to have just a headache. And it wasn't just the headache but the fact that all I had to do was walk twenty, TWENTY paces to cure it. These people have been crying, dying, for help. Yet they don't get it.
  I'm sure you think I'm taking this a little far.... (does he expect me to think of the world suffering every time something doesn't feel right with me?) No I don't expect that.... I don't do that. I will say this though.... God forgive me.... change my mind.... Bring me to a point of awareness. That is, THAT IS, my prayer

A Candle We Should Not Light

What the heck happened to my weekly blog? I have heard this from mulitple people, thank you Lisa, and I can offer no good explanation except for the fact that I am just another victim fallen to procrastination. So in light of that, and thus realizing that I am indeed a victim to this gay internal conflict, I am shoving this blog in its face. Amen. So now that I have cleared that up, let me tell you about an experience I had pertaining to human emotion and how short my and ultimately all our wicks are leading to the candle of anger.
  We must be slow to anger. Wow have I absolutely destroyed that commandment tonight. This tends to be a common struggle that I have noticed within myself as well as amongst most of humanity. This, however, does not apply to all, which gives me hope, and when I meet these other forms of human I find them to be a breath of fresh air as well as a personal kick to the ***. Heads are probably spinning as of now, but thats ok. Let me give an example that will help give aid to the problem that I am trying to bring to awareness.
Tonight I was spending some time with a couple of close friends, and it was magnificent. We began our evening by going to the mall, which by the way is not a good idea on a friday night due to the mass huddles of "really cool" kids who just..... huddle, followed up by a visit to Barnes and Noble to have a seat and enjoy some starbucks. Fantastic time, I love sitting at the bookstore cafe, the atmosphere is unmatched and when your with friends engaging in delightful conversation, who could ask for a better evening. This, unfortunately, would all soon come to a crashing end all because of the "short wick."
Across the cafe area from us was a man who plainly made me angry. Laptop on table, earbuds in ears, he was flailing around like a prancy time and practically singing out loud. What started as a funny scenario, went to an annoying one, which took a violent leap to me being outraged. Did my friends have any idea that I could not stop watching this man? That I could not help but wish I could go over there and toss his computer into the bushes in the parking lot. I don't think they knew the seriousness of the situation. Alas, my completely unnecessary attitude was recongnized and realized 20 minutes ago. Which is why I am writting this particular experience and this particular blog.
  Why do we humans get so easily angered? You may be thinking, oh I don't get angry easily speak for yourself. Well if you are thinking that I would say first of all I have spoken for myself and following that I would give you a quote I got from a bumper sticker. Your proctologist called, he found your head. We all get angry way too easily. Why do we become sailors when someone pulls out in front of us? Why do we get upheaved when our food takes too long to cook? Why do we turn red at the thought that we will miss our favorite tv show? Why? This really is a problem, and while attempting to solve a problem or while correcting a problem, it first must be recognized. Recognition is the initial key to overcoming any personal barrier or problem. Next must come a desire, and an action, to solve it and ultimately make a change for the better.
I did realize, 20 minutes ago, a lot longer than it shouldve have taken me to know, that i was definitely in the wrong for being angry at this man. He was simply enjoying life. In fact, I learned quite a lot from this man and I am truly grateful he was there doing his thing tonight. We were not created to be ticking time bombs. We were created to embrace each other, and life, in a joyous state. We so often forget this truth. Fight it, fight the short wick living. Throw out the candle completely. Be slow to anger and take a sip of that coffee with a smile.

Stars God's Emitted Light

Let me tell you about a new hobby I have seemed to pick up, I like to call it "gazing."  Thats right, my new hobby is looking at the night sky in all of its beauty.  This all originated one day as I was spending some time with a good friend of mine and boredom was taking over both of us. I am finding that when the things of this modern human earth are no longer grabbing our attention, the word boredom comes to life, and it is when this word, this state of being, begins to take place that we begin to take appreciation in the more simple, common things.  So now that I have come to this realization and i hear someone say "i am bored" I say, lucky you!  Anyway back to the origination of gazing.  Like i said, my friend and I were both bored so we decided that we were going to lay outside and just talk.  Sounds like an activity a bunch of third grade school girls would engage in, you may be thinking right now. Never fear, this thought entered into our heads as well, so the talking did not last very long. Silence soon took over us and for good reason.  We were soon taken captive by the beauty of the clear night sky that was provided for us.  I mean the sky has always been there, I have seen it thousands of times. However, I have never looked at it as I had that night, nor has it ever appeared to me as brilliant as it had that night.  I was overwhelmed, in a marvelous way, by the presence of God.  My friend no longer existed at this point, it was just me, the night sky, and God.  I am sure my friend was feeling the same thing, it was powerful, yet unexplainable.  As I was submerged in this state of complete and utter awe, many new thoughts were rushing into my head.  I was soaked in questions and wonderings, some of which I would like to share with you. 

When asked about the composition of a star, and your opinion on that matter, what is it that comes to your mind?  Do you have the "Timone response?"  That stars are just fireflies, fireflies stuck up in that big blue-ish black thing?  Or do you have that scientific answer, as i had, that they are indeed balls of gas burning millions/billions of miles away?  After my experience the other night, a new thought has entered my mind on the matter.  Not to say the other two answers are false (even though timone's answer is a wee bit far-fetched) or that mine is true, but I thought I would put my ideas into your heads.  And to some of you whose thoughts have been clouded by the world’s preaching of "possibility" remember we are dealing with the Creator of the universe.  Now that we've addressed that here is my brief proposal.

Imagine the possibility of being able to see God's literal light every night!  This was the thought that had entered my head as i was "gazing."  Then it hit me.  What if these balls of gas, these fireflies, these stars are mere illusions to what they truly are?  What if these stars are allowing us to take a glimpse at God's literal light on this earth!  It's not impossible.  I mean from Jesus' birth we find that stars have a huge roll in making mankind aware of  God's existence on earth, whose to say it is not the same today.  It is quite mind rattling if you just let that thought marinate in your mind for a couple of days.  The thought of being able to see God's actual light in something that is just forgotten about and walked under night after night is nothing shy of incredible.  God's light shines through the stars.

This is a personal breakthrough for me.  I make sure i create time to sit outside at night at least twice a week and focus on God as i stare up.  You can connect in a mighty way by looking at God's literal glory.  Give it a try, just "gaze."   

Hope

I have a hopefully brief and simple thought. Tonight, as i spent possibly the last moments with a good friend of mine, i realize that life, people, emotions, are all fragile and sensitive to change. Now this is not new information to me and most likely not to you either, but it was quite evident in my experience tonight. Staring at the face of a 5 year, deep friendship and knowing that it will become a memory, is really devastating to me. Once again to involve you, the reader, i know that you probably have been in the same situation and probably to greater extents. For me, however, i found myself broken and expressionless while faced with this task of saying the simple word goodbye. I am intrigued by how many thoughts flooded my mind in what seemed to be an instant before the last hug was given. Every past experience, story, tradition, memory seemed to tackle me to the point of complete domination. It's like i had an unbreakable chain wrapped around my body, harnessing me, dragging me away from the person who i considered most dear. It's a frightening feeling, and you know the feeling, it's the feeling of complete defeat and abandonment. This is something i had not felt in a long time and really do not wish to feel again. (no surprise there)
I know that at this point you are really not feeling very giddy and are probably wondering why you even opened this blog in the first place. HaHa, and i do not blame you. This experience was bad and frankly just plain depressing. My feelings, however, had changed the second hope entered into the picture.
Hope is the expecting, the believing that something good will happen. In order for the hope to become a reality it must be followed by action. Now hope without action is nothing more than a wish. (speaking in human relations here, spiritual instances are another blog for another day) Not to say wishes don't come true but some form of action must take place for hope to become a reality. So i say that all to say, this is not the end. Situations like the one i listed above are unfortunate but can be overcome. All you need is hope followed by action.