First Meetings

I'm really starting to notice that I make things incredibly awkward when I first meet someone, especially when I have no common ground with them at all. A particular instance comes to mind when I met this young lady who had just graduated high school. I followed all the correct steps for small talk.

(Me)"So where are you going from here?"

(Her)"College."

(Me)"What are you going to study?"

(Her)"Dentistry."

(Me)"Ah cool, Dentistry... Did you know that dentists have the highest suicide rate?"

(Her)"Oh wow, uh no I didn't."

(Me)"Yeah, next are clowns. They say its due to the monotony."

From there, things went down hill. I did think to myself after I said all that, why... WHY? This is apparently who I am. The person who makes things incredibly awkward for no apparent reason upon first meetings. Take today for another example.

My brother-in-law and I went to a bookstore in the city again because a Pulitzer Prize winning author, Michael Chabon, was there for a book signing. I had read a couple of his books and really enjoyed the one that received the Pulitzer. So naturally, I wanted to get it signed. I listened to him talk and then waited to be called to get my book signed. I had to wait close to an hour because I did not purchase his new book that came with the "VIP ticket" to get in line first. $27 for a book is highway train robbery. I was more than willing to wait. I waited and waited... "VIP Ticket Group A".... "Group B"... all the way to "Group D." At that point the final announcement was made that any and all other cheapskates could get in line to receive the honor of getting their book signed by the distinguished author. This was my Que. I was waiting in line for another solid 10 minutes when it finally was my turn to meet him.

When I first stepped up to the table, he offered his hand which I gladly took and shook with authority. I really had no plan of what to say to him after this. I knew that I simply didn't want to stay quiet and get the signature. I wanted to exchange words with Michael Chabon. The Michael Chabon. I tried to think of some common ground. Obviously, there was his book and how I read it. But he wrote it and that is really all he ever hears. So naturally what came out was, "Hiii... my name is... Mike too.... Michael." To which he replied, "Oh... Hi, um would you like me to make it out to Mike then?" I really don't think I can capture the true awkwardness of our first exchange. I watched as he signed my book and was more than ready to send me off, but I was still not satisfied. I was hoping to salvage something. Maybe my dignity, since it had undoubtedly been lost. I said to him, "You know, I read this in Canada. I really could not put it down." It didn't seem like it was that random of a statement. Maybe the abruptness of it took him off guard because he replied very nonchalantly, "Oh that's really something." He moved his pawn, and it was now my turn to respond. I really had nothing left to say, so I said, "Yeaahhh..... it was amazing. Well cya." I happened to look back and saw him give the employees of the store the look that said, wow that was some character. (no pun intended) I gave a deep breath, walked out the store, and said to myself, "Yup... that is my typical first meeting. "